Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
