Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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