After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
