Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
