I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
