i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Farmville is her only friend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
