you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
