My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
