Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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