oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this will be a night to untag.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
