he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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