No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
