Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
