why do cheetos always look like penises
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
