I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
