talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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