But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
