ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We had to coat check the pizza.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
