So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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