I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
