Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
