The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
