You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
