how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
