I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
