Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
