Heybabeimwearingurpanties
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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