everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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