Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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