i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
