I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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