Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
