oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
