So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
