Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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