Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
