I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
