Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And then he peed in my hair
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