at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
