I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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