IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
