I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
