she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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