is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
