Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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