My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
