My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
