Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
