i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
