The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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