the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
