Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
