My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
